Melanoma Monday is May 6th. I normally try not to dwell on the past, and instead strive to work on being positive and thankful for the future God saw fit to give me. Mind you, I said “try,” not always succeeding. This past month though has left me awake most nights. I don’t stay awake because I want to. I’m plenty tired. My mind goes back, and I find myself thinking about the “what ifs” and wondering if anything should have been done differently. I don’t think all of my choices were the best, but they brought me to this point. Part of me really appreciates the priority enhancing perspective this all has provided me with. I believe I wouldn’t have been as open in my relationships with those I care about the most if this hadn’t occurred. Perspective really is everything, I’m learning. One area that I struggle with after gaining this newfound perspective is trivial people and actions. I have absolutely no interest in people who play emotional games, who can’t be honest, or are negative. There’s no time for any of that. I’ve found that because of this struggle, some relationships are going by the wayside. Sometimes that includes family. I will not waste the precious time I’m given on trivial pursuits or emotional immaturity. So, my family and I will wear orange on Monday. Orange will be a reminder to each of us what could have been, and a perspective enhancing tool to help me/us continue to move forward. Maybe next month I’ll sleep better, but I’m thankful for the deprivation this month. My heart needed it. Thank you, God, for providing it. Thank you, family. Without my most treasured family, gained perspective would be directionless. To be clear, I don’t have any new melanoma. I’m simply reflecting on the previous diagnosis and what “could have” happened.1 Comment
This 4th month has been a month of HUGE change! This month, we transitioned to me going back to work… :) My amazing, wonderful, sweet, helpful, hardworking, loving, funny mother came to take care of the little lady for one entire month. Could not be more blessed! At the beginning of your fourth month, we started with a baby dedication at church. You had some visitors (see previous post here). You have been using the bottle everyday for the past month for at least 3 to 4 bottles a day, as opposed to the few we did before. It has been an adjustment for sure, but it has been a better adjustment that I would have thought. I am still very sad everyday to be apart from you. Many of my patients said that they were appreciative I returned, which was helpful. It doesn’t quite make up for being away from you though. Anyway…2 Comments
My mom sent me some information from our family, and I wanted to share it. I don’t want to lose the information either, so I am saving it here.
Lilla Rita was named after two special people. See their information below:
I couldn’t walk fast enough on the way to the car after work today. I felt like I had accomplished this amazing day. But, I had left my heart and love at home. I couldn’t get home fast enough. I couldn’t wait to hold her. Lunch with Mom, Flower Pearl, and Aaron was lovely and just what the doctor ordered.Leave a comment
I’m going to have a really hard time going back to work. I love my job and my patients, but I love my baby more. So very thankful for my husband and his positivity. Incredibly thankful for my mom. I know Lilla will be well taken care of. I am lucky to be able to trust my mom wholeheartedly. Not everyone can say that.Leave a comment
This morning, little miss woke up around 4:30 am. She fell back asleep around 5. Then she woke up chattering at 6. So we ate breakfast and played. She was showing signs of fatigue almost exactly an hour after eating. So we went to our bed. I propped her up on a soft pillow, as I often do when we read books together. She started to nod off, and rolled over on the pillow towards me. Then she reached out her little hands and found my face. I decided to wrap her in the swaddle blanket, and removed the soft pillow, so she was just on the bed. Then I held her hands and stared at her sweet, sleeping face until I fell asleep. Best nap ever.
And then…Aaron woke us up :)1 Comment
2 years and a huge, beautiful scar later.2 Comments
On Sunday, January 20, 2013, Lilla attended her Baby Dedication at North Central Baptist Church. She was accompanied by her lovely family including: Mamaw Paula, Uncle Josh, Grammy Faith, Poppy Bill, Mom, and Dad. She had two very special outfits picked out for the occasion by Grammy Faith and Poppy Bill. She wore a light blue smocked dress from Grammy Faith for the church service. She also had pink patent leather shoes, a headband made by Grammy Faith, my old bonnet, and a beautiful blanket to match. From Poppy Bill, she wore a beautiful navy, sailor dress. Poppy Bill and Grammy Faith picked out black patent leather shoes to go with the dress. It was such a special day for so many reasons. One of which, is that both families traveled very far to see her baby dedication, and for that we are truly thankful. It made the day complete, so thank you to everyone who came!
We were one of seven families participating in the baby dedication that day. Pastor Calvin Carr introduced Lilla to the congregation. He even spoke about the meaning of her name. The following verse was read at her dedication. Matthew 6:33 “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Lilla was presented with a letter from the pastor, a Baby Dedication certificate, and an engraved New Testament pink Bible. The verse in the letter written by Pastor Carr is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for your good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” It was a very special ceremony, and Lilla did a great job! She even “talked” when Pastor Calvin was introducing her. Here are some pictures from her special day.